HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO. <3


Yes yes, i know everyone knows that Vday and CNY clashes on th same day.
who doesnt know that?
*entire blogosphere is quiet*
This is my early entry for Vday!

Love isint neccesarily abt being able to spend all your time with him/her.
(but yes obviously we do want to spend time.)

to me, love cant be described.

When i loved someone, all i wanted was for him to be happy.
Maybe i'll feel a little neglected, maybe i'll feel a little unhappy.
But i can put up with anything just because im in love with that person.

Maybe i shall talk about a little love story of mine.

All names have been changed, apart from mine to protect their confidentiality.
but some of you alr know who im talking abt so heck. ^^





Zach was my senior in school.
We were in th same cca.
We just clicked. there was no hesitation, no awkward-ness between us.
Then on, we became a couple.
i would say i was really happy.
happier than now of course.

then, one day (around early feb'08) as i was heading home with Sheena, i typed out a text message. A breakup msg to be exact.
Memories of its contents are of bits and pieces now.
I cant remember anymore.
I wanted to delete it, I didnt want to let go of someone I love.
but Sheena told me dont be so wishy washy, and proceeded to press th send button for me.

We were on our way to meet Jolene at her newly transferred school.
I cried when i got home.
My pillow was tear soaked, and yet i did not bother to try and explain to him.
What hurt me th most was th reply i received.
what does a 'Thanks. (:' mean?
my heart hurt so bad i lost my appetite for quite some time.
But i never showed how much i was hurting.
I continued to laugh and smile and act all nonchalent.
The awkwardness that was there when we passed each other in school was inevitable.
After months, we finally began talking.
I tried not to think abt him, tried to forget him.

We became good friends. just plain friends.
He liked this other girl called Lydia.
As according to th rumors i heard in school.
They were classmates, in fact.

But when we resumed our midnight chats, something happened.
We talked till 2am, talking, talking, and just plain talking.
But one thing led to another.

Then, on 010908, we were together again.
It was at my neighbourhood's playground, on that big stone bench.
Creamy(my late dog), was our 'witness'.
of course she couldnt say anything, but i could tell she liked him.
even more than me.
that night, he had brought over a Shepherd's Pie from Pie Kia, as well as three scrumptious cookies from Subway.

I still remember our long bus rides together, sitting and staring at absolute nothing hand in hand.
I was content with just being with him,
to be able to be with him till th cows got home.
But Zach's paranoia got th better of him.

He was scared of getting hurt.
like th way he did before.

Irregardless of my feelings, he broke up with me on 260908.
at 5.32pm to be exact.
i couldnt forget even till now.
I told him it was okay.
I lied again.
I locked myself in my room for 3 days, refusing to come out to eat.
all i did was to lie on my bed and mope.
It was like he ripped out my heart.

When school started in 2009, I wished i could just make him disappear.
I tried dating other guys. it didnt work.
I put up a front, a front that only one will know why.
I acted as if i didnt care, as if i wouldnt die.
I never stopped loving him, i only stopped showing it.

Somewhere in th mid of 2009,
He was together with Lydia.
I was a green-eyed monster. but i couldnt do anything.
all i did was curse and swear under my breath and occasionally cry myself to sleep.
We had numerous amounts of quarrels.
I didnt care. I tried to hate him.
I couldnt.

Now he's not with Lydia anymore.
Does it concern me? Yes it does.
It involves my first love and my broken heart.
But i cant do anything anyway.

But because i never stopped loving him, i only want what's best for him.
Because I love him, i want to see him happy.
that's all im asking for.


For you to be happy, to smile, to laugh.
Even if you were with another girl, i'd be fine.
If you're happy, i'd be happy.
Sacrifices suck big time, but many give them without an utter of complaint.
Boy, I Love You.
Can i stop loving you?
Maybe time wont tell. If it could, my 2 years wouldnt exactly be wasted.
Will you ever love me again?
I doubt so.
I know i dont stand a chance anymore, but i still like you anyway.
and i hope you like your letter/present.

My love for him meant i could give everything up for him.
even if it was he himself for his own happiness.

This is my definition of love, my opinions on what i feel.
If he is happy, then I'm happy.

What's yours?

(L).